Again I Would Like to Say Im Sorry
We all say "I'k sorry" too oftentimes—that much y'all already know. And, trust me, I'm right in that boat with yous. I'm consciously enlightened of the fact that I'm a chronic over-apologizer.
Sure, I've read the countless manufactures well-nigh apps that could assistance me and picayune tweaks that could end me in my tracks before those two small-scale words mindlessly flew out of my mouth. But, in all honesty, very piffling of information technology has worked for me. Nothing really sticks, and I however catch myself apologizing way more ofttimes than it should.
That is, until recently. I saw this Tumblr postal service circulating around the internet, and it piqued my interest.
Appreciation Over Apologies
Instead of attempting to stop yourself from saying something altogether, the user suggests replacing that oft-repeated "I'm sorry" with two different words: Thank you. This flips the script and changes something that could be perceived as a negative fault into a moment for you to express your gratitude and appreciation.
Sounds great in theory, correct? Just, how practical could it really be? Would this be nevertheless another suggested phrase that gets thrown out of the window the second I feel tempted to apologize?
Naturally, I felt the need to test information technology out myself—which is exactly what I've been doing over the course of the past week. Information technology involves quite a flake of conscious idea (yeah, there have been plenty of times when an apology was dancing on my lips, and I managed to catch it only in time). But, so far I've managed to be pretty consistent with this change.
When an editor pointed out an error I had made in 1 of my articles, I didn't respond immediately with, "Ugh, I'm so pitiful virtually that!" Instead, I sent a reply with a line that read, "Thank you lot for that helpful note!"
And, similar the Tumblr user, when I ran late for a coffee meeting with a networking acquaintance, I resisted the urge to apologize profusely and instead thanked her for waiting for me.
Did it Work?
While it does take a fiddling bit of effort on your cease (and, fair warning, you might slip upwards a few times at first), swapping out these words is still a relatively small change for y'all to make. But, rest bodacious, and so far I've noticed a large affect—more so with myself than with the people I had been previously apologizing to.
When I had previously spewed out countless sorries, I spent a good chunk of fourth dimension feeling guilty. I had begun our exchange with something negative, which then seemed to cast a nighttime shadow over the residuum of our conversation—like I had started things off on the wrong foot and needed to spend the residual of my fourth dimension proving myself and recovering for my faux pas.
But, past switching that negative to a positive, I establish that I could move on from my sideslip-upwardly much faster. I didn't need to spend fourth dimension mentally obsessing over what I had screwed up because my genuine "cheers" had provided a much more natural segue into a different discussion—rather than the bad-mannered exchange that typically follows an apology.
Needless to say, this is a change I plan to keep to implement to improve my communication skills. It's the but thing I've plant that actually halts my over-apologizing. And, as an added bonus, it transforms those previously remorse-filled exchanges into something constructive and upbeat. What more than could you desire?
Are yous going to try this subtle alter yourself? Let me know on Twitter how it goes for you!
Photo of people talking courtesy of Jetta Productions/Getty Images.
Kat is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers, productivity, and the freelance life. In add-on to The Muse, she's a contributor all over the web and dishes out enquiry-backed advice for places like Atlassian, Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, FlexJobs, and more. She's also an Employment Advisor at a local higher, and loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers (and lives!) they dear. When she manages to escape from backside her computer screen, she's normally babying her two rescue mutts or continuing her search for the perfect taco. Say hi on Twitter @kat_boogaard or check out her website.
More from Kat BoogaardSource: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-two-words-you-should-start-saying-instead-of-im-sorry
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